Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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