That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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