...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
