Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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