i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
