Yo dont text me then not text me
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Will exercising make me less horny?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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