dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
