Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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