Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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