Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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