PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
