Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
