I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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