Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Found the puke drawer
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
