Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
