You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
