i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
