So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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