Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
