I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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