Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
