I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
