no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
