Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
