I think my fart just growled at me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
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