Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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