i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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