pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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