I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
