maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
