i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
