so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize