so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
so much tequila, so little girl.
Who died my cat blue again?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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