Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
