i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
