do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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