is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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