You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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