what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
