I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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