So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
