You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
