Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize