Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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