two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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