fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
