i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
