I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
