Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
