No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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