I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We left the knife in your bed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
