i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
