didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
