I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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