Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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