i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
