"it" just moved
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
