haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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