no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
