Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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