and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
