Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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